so these past weeks i've gotten a taste of what living in the real world will be like... waking up at 7, driving through traffic, 8+ hour work days, driving back through traffic. i start to understand why people out of college seem so burned out, it's exhausting.
and i'm finding it harder and harder to take time with God each day.
in college it was so easy because you made your own hours, i could set aside time for God so easily. now someone else makes the hours... and God wasn't in consideration when they were made.
maybe it's just personal discipline that i need to get up earlier, or devote time in the evenings.
it's just been a difficult adjustment.
and something else i'm struggling to find here in tidewater has been community. the community i had in blacksburg is something that i treasure a lot, and i know i'm not going to be able to replace it, but i've struggled to find any community here of people my own age.
i pray that i can start learning how to put God first in my schedule and that He would provide me with community here in chesapeake
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Exile?
Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.
-Jeremiah 29:7
so the 29th chapter of Jeremiah is a letter to the exiles in Babylon, and somehow i resonate greatly with this part of it.
it sounds silly, but i feel like as i'm going out from blacksburg and virginia tech, a place of comfort and blessing for the past 5 years, and going back to chesapeake, the place i swore i would never go back to after growing up there, i feel like it's almost an exile.
i don't know why i have a particular dislike of chesapeake, maybe all the things i've learned about architecture and urban planning have showed me all the things wrong with chesapeake, maybe it's the fact that most of my friends have moved on from there, or maybe it's just simply because it's not an exciting place to live.
however, Jeremiah 29:7 really convicted me about how i was feeling. yea, it may not be the place i wanted to go, but it is the place that God seems to be leading me to at this time. what good is it for me to sit and grumble and be miserable the whole time i'm there?
God is putting me into a position where i can actively participate in fixing the things that i don't like about that place, to "seek the peace and prosperity" of chesapeake. there are places that i can minister there, places that i can seek to restore the Lord's justice.
just because i've spent my life in the upper-middle class of chesapeake, doesn't mean that there aren't places of injustice. Deep Creek and Indian River are both places that are very different sides of chesapeake than the ones that i grew up in. just because i'm coming back to an old place, doesn't mean that i have to live in the same way that i did before. i'm a much different person than i was the last time i lived full time in chesapeake. let me be content in all situations and seek God's peace and prosperity for any place that i might be in.
-Jeremiah 29:7
so the 29th chapter of Jeremiah is a letter to the exiles in Babylon, and somehow i resonate greatly with this part of it.
it sounds silly, but i feel like as i'm going out from blacksburg and virginia tech, a place of comfort and blessing for the past 5 years, and going back to chesapeake, the place i swore i would never go back to after growing up there, i feel like it's almost an exile.
i don't know why i have a particular dislike of chesapeake, maybe all the things i've learned about architecture and urban planning have showed me all the things wrong with chesapeake, maybe it's the fact that most of my friends have moved on from there, or maybe it's just simply because it's not an exciting place to live.
however, Jeremiah 29:7 really convicted me about how i was feeling. yea, it may not be the place i wanted to go, but it is the place that God seems to be leading me to at this time. what good is it for me to sit and grumble and be miserable the whole time i'm there?
God is putting me into a position where i can actively participate in fixing the things that i don't like about that place, to "seek the peace and prosperity" of chesapeake. there are places that i can minister there, places that i can seek to restore the Lord's justice.
just because i've spent my life in the upper-middle class of chesapeake, doesn't mean that there aren't places of injustice. Deep Creek and Indian River are both places that are very different sides of chesapeake than the ones that i grew up in. just because i'm coming back to an old place, doesn't mean that i have to live in the same way that i did before. i'm a much different person than i was the last time i lived full time in chesapeake. let me be content in all situations and seek God's peace and prosperity for any place that i might be in.
Friday, March 27, 2009
encouragement
"I write to you, dear children,
because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.
I write to you, dear children,
because you have known the Father.
I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one."
- 1 John 2:12-14
i read this today and was really encouraged. i think for the first time in my life i feel like that last part is true about me.
I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.
i think at various points of my life that has been partially true of me, but right now i feel like the whole thing is true of me. praise be to God!
because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.
I write to you, dear children,
because you have known the Father.
I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one."
- 1 John 2:12-14
i read this today and was really encouraged. i think for the first time in my life i feel like that last part is true about me.
I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.
i think at various points of my life that has been partially true of me, but right now i feel like the whole thing is true of me. praise be to God!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
calling [again]
so calling seems to be a recurring theme in my blogs lately. big surprise, i'm graduating this semester and don't know what i'm doing with my life... but last night was particularly helpful so i thought i'd share.
last night in small group we talked about the call of abrahm. and i brought up the question of calling. are we called to one specific thing in life? or are we called simply to follow God and within that there are multiple things that we can do. and in discussing that [thanks to guest appearances by bryan carey and isaac barber] we got onto the calls of various biblical characters. so here are some examples of call:
abrahm [genesis 12:1-9] "leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to land I will show you." v.1
so here abrahm was called to just go and God would tell him when to stop. it wasn't a call to go to canaan and then be done, that was all God had for him to do. no, he goes to canaan, there's a famine, he goes to egypt, almost gets killed, goes back to canaan, saves his nephew, has a son, almost sacrifices his son, etc. so it's not just one thing. if you look at the big picture, yes, he just ends up back in canaan in the end. but is that the important fact when you look at his life as an individual? is it the final destination or is it the journey that is important when you look at the scale of the individual?
isaiah [isaiah 6:1-13] "whom shall I send? and who will go for Us?" v.8
with isaiah there is a recognizable need. God needs someone to go for Him to proclaim the word to israel. isaiah, in his vision sees this need and rather than waiting for one of the angels to speak up or worrying that he wouldn't have the words to say, he steps up and says "here i am, send me!" he doesn't know what he's supposed to say, doesn't know the logistics, God fills in those details later. isaiah recognizes a need and steps in to fill that need as best as he can. and God provides him guidance as he goes.
jeremiah [jeremiah 1:4-12] "before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." v.5
jeremiah seems very unsure of himself. God comes down and says i set you up for this before you were even born! you were made for this, don't doubt yourself. but jeremiah replies that he is only a child and doesn't know how to speak. God tells him not to say that, if I made you to be a prophet don't you think i'll take care of you being able? so God is validating jeremiah's call and his identity here when he worries that he isn't good enough for the calling he's recieved.
so in all of these calls God says to just start going, He'll fill in the details as you go. there's no plan laid out before the start of the journey, it's like walking with a candle in the dark, you can only see far enough ahead for a few steps. so when God gives me a direction i need to just start going and let him fill in the details. now if only i could get that direction...
last night in small group we talked about the call of abrahm. and i brought up the question of calling. are we called to one specific thing in life? or are we called simply to follow God and within that there are multiple things that we can do. and in discussing that [thanks to guest appearances by bryan carey and isaac barber] we got onto the calls of various biblical characters. so here are some examples of call:
abrahm [genesis 12:1-9] "leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to land I will show you." v.1
so here abrahm was called to just go and God would tell him when to stop. it wasn't a call to go to canaan and then be done, that was all God had for him to do. no, he goes to canaan, there's a famine, he goes to egypt, almost gets killed, goes back to canaan, saves his nephew, has a son, almost sacrifices his son, etc. so it's not just one thing. if you look at the big picture, yes, he just ends up back in canaan in the end. but is that the important fact when you look at his life as an individual? is it the final destination or is it the journey that is important when you look at the scale of the individual?
isaiah [isaiah 6:1-13] "whom shall I send? and who will go for Us?" v.8
with isaiah there is a recognizable need. God needs someone to go for Him to proclaim the word to israel. isaiah, in his vision sees this need and rather than waiting for one of the angels to speak up or worrying that he wouldn't have the words to say, he steps up and says "here i am, send me!" he doesn't know what he's supposed to say, doesn't know the logistics, God fills in those details later. isaiah recognizes a need and steps in to fill that need as best as he can. and God provides him guidance as he goes.
jeremiah [jeremiah 1:4-12] "before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." v.5
jeremiah seems very unsure of himself. God comes down and says i set you up for this before you were even born! you were made for this, don't doubt yourself. but jeremiah replies that he is only a child and doesn't know how to speak. God tells him not to say that, if I made you to be a prophet don't you think i'll take care of you being able? so God is validating jeremiah's call and his identity here when he worries that he isn't good enough for the calling he's recieved.
so in all of these calls God says to just start going, He'll fill in the details as you go. there's no plan laid out before the start of the journey, it's like walking with a candle in the dark, you can only see far enough ahead for a few steps. so when God gives me a direction i need to just start going and let him fill in the details. now if only i could get that direction...
Monday, January 12, 2009
help yourself
so on saturday, i went with my church to bring sack lunches to Union Mission, the homeless shelter in norfolk. I got to sit down and talk with a guy briefly with a guy who i overheard talking about how he has just gotten an apartment and was going to be getting out of the homeless shelter this weekend.
the first thing he said to me was "you know something, God helps those who help themselves." and we went on to talk about how he's worked to get himself off the streets and get back on his feet.
i think that was exactly the thing i needed to hear.
i've been sitting around, feeling sorry for myself for not knowing what i want to do when i graduate, when i should be working to give myself options. not just waiting for the perfect opportunity to drop into my lap.
this guy had been into drugs, in jail, and on the street, but he's working to get out from that.
i need to work toward my future, not expect it to be provided for me.
i need to help myself
the first thing he said to me was "you know something, God helps those who help themselves." and we went on to talk about how he's worked to get himself off the streets and get back on his feet.
i think that was exactly the thing i needed to hear.
i've been sitting around, feeling sorry for myself for not knowing what i want to do when i graduate, when i should be working to give myself options. not just waiting for the perfect opportunity to drop into my lap.
this guy had been into drugs, in jail, and on the street, but he's working to get out from that.
i need to work toward my future, not expect it to be provided for me.
i need to help myself
Thursday, January 8, 2009
calling?
So it's been a while since i've posted one of these, so i dont know if anybody even looks at this anymore, but here we go anyways....
Calling is a word that's thrown around pretty commonly in the 'christian vocabulary.'
"God calls us to do ______"
"I feel called to ______ ministry"
But what does calling mean? What does calling look like?
Does God call us into specific things, like into a particular job or a particular ministry? Or is God's calling simply that we should follow him in whatever we do and let us fill in the details?
In the first instance, I've known a lot of people who have 'felt called into ministry' or 'called into the workforce.' I'm not trying to dispute what those people have felt, but i've never felt God telling me in some sort of prophetic manner what i'm supposed to do with my life. It would be a lot easier for me if He would just tell me what to do once i graduate, cause i'm lost. I dont feel 'called' to anything or anywhere in particular when i graduate, and that's how i've been feeling for the better part of a year now.
So that brings me to the second idea of calling, the idea that we are simply called to follow God in whatever profession we chose for ourselves, be it in the workforce, in the ministry, whatever. This idea resonates with me a little better, just because we are to be children of God first and foremost in whatever we do. However, that still doesn't help me figure out what i want to do when i graduate, but there is a difference in where each idea of calling puts me. Am i trying to figure out what i am supposed to do when i graduate, or do i have to figure out what i want to do when i graduate.
But i'm still not sure if there's something that i'm supposed to be doing, that i'm called to do. So as i continue to wrestle with this, any input would of course be helpful. Grace and peace.
Calling is a word that's thrown around pretty commonly in the 'christian vocabulary.'
"God calls us to do ______"
"I feel called to ______ ministry"
But what does calling mean? What does calling look like?
Does God call us into specific things, like into a particular job or a particular ministry? Or is God's calling simply that we should follow him in whatever we do and let us fill in the details?
In the first instance, I've known a lot of people who have 'felt called into ministry' or 'called into the workforce.' I'm not trying to dispute what those people have felt, but i've never felt God telling me in some sort of prophetic manner what i'm supposed to do with my life. It would be a lot easier for me if He would just tell me what to do once i graduate, cause i'm lost. I dont feel 'called' to anything or anywhere in particular when i graduate, and that's how i've been feeling for the better part of a year now.
So that brings me to the second idea of calling, the idea that we are simply called to follow God in whatever profession we chose for ourselves, be it in the workforce, in the ministry, whatever. This idea resonates with me a little better, just because we are to be children of God first and foremost in whatever we do. However, that still doesn't help me figure out what i want to do when i graduate, but there is a difference in where each idea of calling puts me. Am i trying to figure out what i am supposed to do when i graduate, or do i have to figure out what i want to do when i graduate.
But i'm still not sure if there's something that i'm supposed to be doing, that i'm called to do. So as i continue to wrestle with this, any input would of course be helpful. Grace and peace.
Friday, September 5, 2008
feeling old
so, this is my 5th year at virginia tech.
so with an exception of graduate students and faculty, there is nobody older than me here.
that's a pretty strange realization, that i no longer have those older guys in IV to look up to like Nate Cook, BJ Walbert, Matt Sidell, etc. Now i am those guys for a lot of people.
That feels like a lot of pressure. I kinda gave some of those guys a heroic myth to them. They were older and wiser and and done so much stuff, how am i supposed to live up to that?
But i think i'm coming to the realization that those guys were great because they invested in the lives of the underclassmen. Sure, they had a lot of stuff to deal with as far as their own classes and graduation, but they still chose to be important and influential in the lives of younger students, and that more than anything left a lasting impression on me. I hope that is something i can do for underclassmen now, and something they can do when they're seniors.
So as busy as i get this year, i need to continue to remember to be relevant in the underclassmen's lives. Not just some old dude who is never around cause he's so busy.
So thanks to God for those influential guys that came before me, and hopefully, those influential guys who come after me.
so with an exception of graduate students and faculty, there is nobody older than me here.
that's a pretty strange realization, that i no longer have those older guys in IV to look up to like Nate Cook, BJ Walbert, Matt Sidell, etc. Now i am those guys for a lot of people.
That feels like a lot of pressure. I kinda gave some of those guys a heroic myth to them. They were older and wiser and and done so much stuff, how am i supposed to live up to that?
But i think i'm coming to the realization that those guys were great because they invested in the lives of the underclassmen. Sure, they had a lot of stuff to deal with as far as their own classes and graduation, but they still chose to be important and influential in the lives of younger students, and that more than anything left a lasting impression on me. I hope that is something i can do for underclassmen now, and something they can do when they're seniors.
So as busy as i get this year, i need to continue to remember to be relevant in the underclassmen's lives. Not just some old dude who is never around cause he's so busy.
So thanks to God for those influential guys that came before me, and hopefully, those influential guys who come after me.
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