Friday, December 21, 2007

so something i've been faced with lately has been trying to figure out what i want to do with the rest of my life. yea, i know. easy right? but i've gotten a microcosm of that decision for this summer.

i'm trying to decide between [option 1] to go to pittsburg, work at an architecture firm, and partner with some inner city ministries, or [option 2] stay in chesapeake and work as the youth intern at my church.

both have upsides,
[1] i'm passionate about city ministry, i would have some good friends up in pittsburgh from VT, i would make a decent amount of money and get good experience. [2] i'm passionate about college ministry, i would have friends from home, not have to spend anything on rent [thanks mom and dad] and be near the beach

and both have downsides,
[1] i'll be away from my family all summer, working at an architecture job could be boring. [2] i'd make less money, i'd be stuck in suburbia all summer

and in both places i can serve God.

so how do i decide on that?

i'm not looking necessarily for a specific answer to what i should do, but more on the broad subject. how do you make a decision, where you can see yourself serving God in both places. i've never been one to deal with indecision well. usually God gives me a pretty black and white decision to make, and it's just a matter of me making it or not. and i tend to try and rationalize it all out in my head, and rationally, they are very even.

i suppose one thing might just be to be patient and let things happen. doors could close, or something totally new could come along. in which case, this blog has been totally pointless.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

semester's end

well, it's been a heck of a semester. seems like it was just yesterday when i moved into pritchard hall, planning stuff for NSO and starting out my 4th year of architecture.

4 months later, it's been a wild ride. i've been incredibly blessed by the guys in my dorm. from freshman guys like budwin, kyle and zach to all the sophomores and juniors that have been an awesome part of my life this year.

i came into the semester kinda freaking out about the future. after this summer, i didn't know what i wanted to do after i graduated anymore. but i came to realize that it's ok to not know. i was putting to much focus on what i wanted my future to look like, and not what God wanted for my life.

I also joined St. Paul's AME church, a predominantly african-american church here in blacksburg. it has been really good, it was definitely uncomfortable at first, but it's grown into a place that's really home for me. it's been challenging for me to be a minority, after living most of my life in the white majority.

I'm looking forward to next semester, living in alexandria and working at a firm. i think it will be challenging to have to seek out community somewhere else, i've become very comfortable in our IV community here. not to say that it isn't great, but it's become a comfort zone to the point that i don't really live outside that community much.

i'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me next semester and i'm hopeful that He will be doing great things here at VT

Monday, November 26, 2007

blessed are those who mourn....

...for they will be comforted.

so tonight at VT, a student jumped out of the 7th floor of my dorm. from what i know, he didn't live in pritchard hall [my dorm now] but did live in barringer hall [my dorm freshman year.] it's been confirmed that he died.

man, how much does one campus have to take? it's barely been 7 months since the shootings here, and it was starting to feel back to normal here.

not anymore.

i was definitely shook up by it. it took me back to last april, a lot of disbelief and shock i guess. but it's just really hard to deal with. pray for the guy's family, his friends and hallmates, and just our campus in general.

the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. psalm 34:18

Monday, November 12, 2007

reproducing leadership

hooo boy, this last week was a long one. on top of all the typical school work, we had leadership selection for IV last week. That basically involved a lot of interviews and some long meetings to try and discern who was being called into the leadership of our IV chapter here at virginia tech.

the whole process really got me thinking about the question of leadership. some people are blessed with that gift, the gift of leadership, but that gift is also something that's developed over time. i feel like i have been given that gift, but it's also something that was allowed to developed over years of boy scouts, youth group leadership and stuff like that. the question i really was asking myself though, was how do you reproduce leadership? especially as a college student, how do you reproduce it in those younger students who are following behind you? if it's in your discipleship relationships, what does that look like?

the bible has a lot to say about leaders, that they must be above reproach, self-controlled, and that they must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. So how can i encourage that in the younger students that i meet with, with my peers, or even keep up with it myself?

now, of course, i don't want to presume who God is calling to be leaders, but i also think we can discern some of these gifts in people. I think as a leader in IV, i'm also called to help to raise up leaders from the younger students. But the question is, what is the best way to do that?

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Moore than i expected


so in my class tonight we watched the michael moore film Roger & Me which is a documentary about Flint, Michigan. The story centers around General Motors closing most of their plants in Flint, which is where the company began. the economy of Flint had been built around GM for so long that when the plants closed, the entire city spiraled downward.

now, this is a michael moore film, and he does tend to be a bit biased with his opinions, but regardless of his opinions, the truth is still pretty apparent on the screen.

more or less, the entire working class is devastated by the closings of the plant. the factories employed so many people, and then smaller industries that were dependent on the GM factories struggled. the town essentially becomes a ghost town very quickly.

moore juxtaposes scenes of a family getting evicted on christmas ever with a scene of the GM president giving a speech on how great christmas time is. There's also several other scenes where the wealthy people of Flint dismiss the jobless and unemployed as people who are being lazy or just not trying hard enough to get jobs. it was pretty convicting, because i know i've made that judgment in my head before. thinking that people who are unemployed must not be trying hard enough.

and in addition to having some ridiculous stuff in the movie; a woman who raises and sells rabbits [for pets or for meat], a sheriff's deputy that reminds me of Stanley from The Office, and a plant employee who literally goes crazy because of the stress of his job at the plant, the movie really makes me think about the way corporate america exists. does it care at all about the working class, or does it care only about making money? It also really makes me sad about the state of those who are well off, we've so isolated ourselves from the poor, put layers of insulation between us and those who are on the streets, that we can just dismiss them and say that they just need to work harder. when will we start recognizing the brokenness in our societies? when will we stop insulating ourselves from the poor and actually get to know those people rather than just feeling good about ourselves because we give to the salvation army?

Monday, November 5, 2007

blessed are the poor in spirit...

...for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

so i started looking at the beatitudes today and i'm coming to the conclusion that the people who he talks about here are the people who make up the kingdom of heaven. the poor, the mourning, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and the persecuted are all people who make up the kingdom.

so to start with the poor in spirit, these are people who have left everything to follow after Jesus right? they are the people who have given up good paying jobs, secure neighborhoods, families, educations and more. and why have they left all these things? the call of Jesus.

Christ calls us to leave our nets, leave what we know and what is comfortable, to follow after Him.

so i have that knowledge, but i have very little idea of what that practically looks like in my life.

i've given thought to not doing architecture when i graduate, leaving behind prospects of a good paying job, moving to the inner city and giving up living in a secure suburban neighborhood.

but all this stuff is things that i would do after i graduate. i still have a year and a half till then, so am i supposed to just sit on my hands till then? what does it look like to live a sacrificial life in college? Where am i being called to give up things for the sake of following Christ?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

costly grace

so, i started reading the cost of discipleship by dietrich bonhoeffer. first off, the guy's story is pretty amazing, so if you've never heard of him, look him up. but anyways, the first chapter of the book is talking about cheap grace vs. costly grace and this got me thinking a lot. ever since i read it, i've been thinking of how often i just brush off sin as forgiven, without really taking time to appreciate the fact that Jesus Christ, God's own son suffered and died so that i could have that forgiveness. i think bonhoeffer says it best when he says 'what has cost God much, cannot be cheap for us.'

so how then are we to respond to this 'costly grace?' bonhoeffer suggests true discipleship, or the leaving of all to follow Christ. seems pretty radical huh? but that's why grace is costly, and why cheap grace [or grace without discipleship attached] has let so many people become Christians, who don't change anything about themselves other than coming to church sunday morning.

now i don't want to suggest that this costly grace is something that we earn. it is in the gospel of the grace of God that we are always and in every circumstance sinners. but that grace justifies us, even though we are sinners. so i think that such grace deserves a response by us. God allowed his own son to die so we could have this grace, shouldn't that change the way we live our very lives?